I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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