Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The air was thick with penises
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
