I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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