Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
