so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
