i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
