dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
