it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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