well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
