Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
