There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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