You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
