I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
