I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
