I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
