stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We need a shit load of segways right now
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
