I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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