Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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