If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just gargled with NyQuil
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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