we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
