Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
