Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
