ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
