You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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