happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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