Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
