i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
