sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
