Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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