You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
