He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize