oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
