The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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