I hate your face
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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