Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
