I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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