So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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