Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
