Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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