Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
