I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
