Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize