If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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