yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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