MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
