i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
