I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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