I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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