Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
