I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
