Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
